Joined
·
242 Posts
My day-by-day Dilbert desktop calendar proclaims today as "Australia Day" (who can argue with Dilbert?). I have no idea what this represents, but wish the many Aussies on the forum a happy one.
And now for something completely different…
I grew up near the border crossing where I-5 meets the Canada - US border. In the "no man's land" between Immigration checkpoints is an arch with a symbolic gate and a plaque that reads: "Children of a common mother - may these gates never close". I recently got to thinking: if America, Canada and Australia are all children of mother Britain, perhaps a metaphoric look at their “lives†would look something like this (with apologies to the Kiwis and others that I've left out):
After years of wanting out, America got tired of paying for room and board at age 16 and poured tea all over the place. A bust-up with mum ensued followed by America leaving school and stomping off in a huff. After realizing quite an entrepreneurial streak, loaded America and mum are now quite chummy. In fact, they quite enjoy going off to war together after tea.
Never one to abide by any sort of rules on the football pitch, Australia has never quite forgiven mum for shipping him off to prison at age 21. To this day, Australia still refers to mum as “that Pommy B*st*rd!†and enjoys tormenting her at the Ashes. When not wrestling wild animals, Australia trains with a mind to total domination of world sport.
Canada watched his siblings leave home, but didn’t wish to join them. Home was nice: mum continued to cook and clean, and allowed Canada to listen to Anne Murray as well as put maple syrup on everything. After years of allowing Canada to live in the basement, mum had had enough. Tired of his indecisiveness, constant apologies and penchant for drab cardigans, mum packed his bags and nudged Canada gently out the door. After all, he WAS 45.
Perhaps the rest of you have a different take? :-D
And now for something completely different…
I grew up near the border crossing where I-5 meets the Canada - US border. In the "no man's land" between Immigration checkpoints is an arch with a symbolic gate and a plaque that reads: "Children of a common mother - may these gates never close". I recently got to thinking: if America, Canada and Australia are all children of mother Britain, perhaps a metaphoric look at their “lives†would look something like this (with apologies to the Kiwis and others that I've left out):
After years of wanting out, America got tired of paying for room and board at age 16 and poured tea all over the place. A bust-up with mum ensued followed by America leaving school and stomping off in a huff. After realizing quite an entrepreneurial streak, loaded America and mum are now quite chummy. In fact, they quite enjoy going off to war together after tea.
Never one to abide by any sort of rules on the football pitch, Australia has never quite forgiven mum for shipping him off to prison at age 21. To this day, Australia still refers to mum as “that Pommy B*st*rd!†and enjoys tormenting her at the Ashes. When not wrestling wild animals, Australia trains with a mind to total domination of world sport.
Canada watched his siblings leave home, but didn’t wish to join them. Home was nice: mum continued to cook and clean, and allowed Canada to listen to Anne Murray as well as put maple syrup on everything. After years of allowing Canada to live in the basement, mum had had enough. Tired of his indecisiveness, constant apologies and penchant for drab cardigans, mum packed his bags and nudged Canada gently out the door. After all, he WAS 45.
Perhaps the rest of you have a different take? :-D