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Discussion Starter #1
If Lucas made guns wars wouldn't start

I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and never had any prob..........

Lucas invented the intermittant wiper

Lucas invented the three position headlamp switch- off/smolder/ignite

Bell invented the telephone, Edison invented the phonograph, Lucas invented the short circuit.

* The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."

* Lucas denies having invented darkness. But they still claim "sudden, unexpected darkness"

* Lucas--inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

* Lucas--inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

* The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF.

* The other three switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.

* Lucas dip-switch positions: LOW and BLOW
(Bruce Miller, www.hermit.cc)

* The original anti-theft devices--Lucas Electric products.

* "I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any prob...

* If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.

* Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo? It sank.

* It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.

* Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night, since they all look the same?" "He replied, it doesn't matter which one you use, nothing happens!"

* Back in the '70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which didn't suck.

* Quality Assurance phoned and advised the Lucas engineering guy that they had trouble with his design shorting out. So he made the wires longer.

* Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas made the refrigerators, too.

* Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.
Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.
Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

* Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times sunwise around your car chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant."

* Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.

* How to make AIDS disappear? Give it a Lucas parts number.

* Recently, Lucas won out over Bosch to supply the electrical for the new Volkswagens. So, now the cars from the Black Forest will come with electrics supplied by the Lord of Darkness -- how appropriate!

* Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices.

* The Prince's last words to his son: "don't go riding after dark"
(via Bernie Allan, BritIron Newsgroup)

* Lucas jokes: black humor.
(Bruce Miller, www.hermit.cc)
 

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All joking aside, I think Lucas did a grand job to supply bikes with electricity. Especially when you consider how much vibration British bikes were capable of. Personally out of a number of Brit bikes I've had, the electrics worked fine, after I discovered rubber mounting coils and lights. I believe most of the problems associated with Lucas is the owners inability to understand how the circuits worked and the maintenance thereof. Iv'e had new Hondas and Kawasakis that had electrical problems. I'll take a Lucas circuit anyday!
The same goes for the Whitworth fasteners, on bikes ridden in the States. When in Rome, do as the Romans do, but do it with Roman parts.
 

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I'll have to research it, but I read some place that Whitworth threads were purposely engineered to withstand vibration and not loosen, versus other thread designs. The Whitworth thread pitches and depths stayed together longer than others.
 

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I am inclined to agree with you Red.

I rode Unit and pre-unit Trumpys duirng the early sixties, as did about 60 of my mates. For the love of me, I cannot remember electrical problems being a stand out issue.

No doubt there were issues for some, but I cannot remember anyone cursing Lucas, or threating to buy a Honda Dream because they couldn't stand the Lucas electrics.

I know, I know, who would want a Honda Dream anyway, bad electrics or no!!

RR
 

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I am with Red also. The prince of darkness all came about by a bad batch of switches, Unfortunately, by the time people realised there was a problem these unidentifiable switches were mixed in with good ones. BSA /Triumph suffered the most. I get really amused at people who regularly turn up here and complain that some 45 year old mechanical electrical part has failed and ought to be replaced by a more reliable electronic part costing 100 times as much. (usually points). Do they expect a 4,500 year working life from the electronics ? I really do not understand this irrational fear people have about regular maintenace, especially since very few bikes can run for more than 3 hours without having to call into a garage. Incidentally it is quicker and cheaper to check the tappets on an Enfield than it is to put petrol in and pay for it in any other bike. An Enfield with a 20 litre tank (£135) will run at the legal speed limit + 5mph for over 4 hours.
If these old bikes are so unreliable, How come Velocette still hold the 24 hour world speed record for an under 500cc bike since 1961, using lucas electrics, single grade mineral oils and amal carburetter ?
 

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Hi McQueen,

No challenges in building a computer. Truimphs are way ahead of their time buddy, back in '49 you could tell your bike had oil on board by checking the leaks. No need to check the oil level all the time. It was when she didn't leak you did a refill. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #9
seems like a touchy subject!!!

some people can't take a joke or maybe there related to Lucas or something.

I think PANDA is a Lucas sales man (lol):bow:
 

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Hi McQueen,

No challenges in building a computer. Truimphs are way ahead of their time buddy, back in '49 you could tell your bike had oil on board by checking the leaks. No need to check the oil level all the time. It was when she didn't leak you did a refill. :)

'49? Hell, my '79 keeps her undercarriage nice and waterproof. :D
 

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seems like a touchy subject!!!

some people can't take a joke or maybe there related to Lucas or something.

I think PANDA is a Lucas sales man (lol):bow:
Nope nothing to do with Lucas, If you want poor electrics, try Wipac...

Funnily enough I had my first ever motorcycle electrical breakdown since I started riding in 1961. It was last august on my BMW.

But you know every week we get someone here who's bike wont start ( probably operator error) and their solution is to throw away the 45 year old parts in favour of something 'more' reliable. For most of them the answer would be to junk the motor and gearbox, fit a huge battery in its place and hang an electric motor on the back wheel. Maybe jazz it up with some chrome stabilisers, ape hangers and front pegs :)
 

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I know of a guy who used to have a very high-end stereo system including a really nice British made turntable. At some point he had to get rid of the turntable when some of his other equipment became damaged ... it turns out that this turntable had an internal 'suspension' that consisted of oil-filled canisters ...

Only the British can come up with a way for electronics to leak oil.
 

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Wow. I hope our British friends on the forum have a good sense of humor. Carl
 

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I think that might be a tall story t100rc!! I reckon I've heard it all now, "oil canisters in a stereo turntable".

The good news is that we wouln't have this forum if not for the Brits. I can't get enough of Triumphs, oil leaks and all.:) RR
 

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I know of a guy who used to have a very high-end stereo system including a really nice British made turntable. At some point he had to get rid of the turntable when some of his other equipment became damaged ... it turns out that this turntable had an internal 'suspension' that consisted of oil-filled canisters ...

Only the British can come up with a way for electronics to leak oil.
I have to say British electric showers scare me.. You have to understand, UK household electrics is 240volts AC. One end of the single phase supply is strapped to earth, called the neutral. In effect it means you are standing on, and connected to one terminal. The live runs through the water heater, and the water comes out all over you. So there you are, naked, wet, connected to one side of a phase, just waiting for a fault to develope....

True sometimes they use earth leakeage trips, but not always. Usually they are hung onto a 30 or 45 amp fuse. It takes less than a hundredth of this to kill you.
The basic concept of an electric shower seems very scary to me.
( Old sayings, "never mix water with electricity." "Don't feed gremlins after midnight") :)

Back to the oil thread, an American company ( Burroughs) used to make an adding machine which had an oil 'dashpot' in it and yes they leaked. They were often used as cash tills and they very cleverly positioned the cash drawer pockets under it so the oil ran into the pockets that were designated for paper money, thereby soaking up the oil :)
 
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