Triumphrat

FrankBlack · 12-26-2007

It was the night before Christmas when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a....Triumph Rat. Well, not quite. For the last four weeks it had been damp, foggy and salty on the roads and in the air from the salty, salty sea three hundred non-metric, proudly imperial, Whitworth yards away from my house. And so I was stirring quite profusely as my ten week old Bonneville was wrapped up warm in the swaddling flannel sheet of the concrete, asbestos-roofed garage down the road, like the baby Jesus in the manger. Not being one to assign a gender identity to my motorcycle, and keen to break the monotony of Bing Crosby and Slade's Christmas jingles on the radio, I went down to see 'it' (no offence Lord) parked on its centre-stand, waiting for the next dry day and the pestering D-Tool to arrive from the wise men in the West (NewBonneville) so that I can take the idling roughness out of its cold-weather burble and post-mod jagged edges.

To celebrate the precious gift of merchandise on Jesus's birthday, I'd brought 'it' precious gifts of Gold (TORs), Frankincense (new jets), and Myrrh (an oily air filter) and oh, OhioTT's generous donation of his other half of a Bellmouth, which he sent to me in the spirit of goodwill. With the hollowness of every non-postal, public holiday (including Chrimbo) I've anxiously, excitedly (and now neurotically) awaited the arrival of the precious D-Tool, which has become my golden ticket to finally getting it/ Him/ her up and running again in spite of the presence of evil on the satanic saline streets.

Anyway, opening the holly-green door of the manger-like garage, I whipped off 'its' (okay, 'her' sounds better here even though machines have no genitals) flannel blanket only to discover RUST on the farging shock absorbers (aka salt absorbers). Unholy barstiges! Ten weeks and rust already?!! My lamb has turned to mutton overnight. Good Lord, is Herod (aka Triumph) so cheap that he can't put a few extra layers of chrome on; the 5 minute saltwater spray testing notwithstanding? Afterall, the once 'great', Great Britain is a little island, and thus surrounded by SALT water! Or are they trying to cultivate waves of increasingly neurotic motorcycle owners who, like me, have become obsessed with cleaning, lubricating and spraying ACF-50 every time the garage door goes up and thus have no recourse but to buy up all the anti-rust, after-market parts I can (I'm also awaiting the alloy light kit from NB to replace the chromed plastic anti-Christ indicators and rear light). Soon the whole bike will be an exact replica of the original Triumph Bonneville I bought in October, only made out of stainless steel and aluminium (aloominum).

Oh wise men (and women) of the brotherly Triumph Rat community (Jerusalem, Bethlehem and New Jersey), help me understand so that I may become a better man and live a pure (balanced engine) and sin-free (rust-free) life...otherwise I may have my Bonneville set in perspex and buy a Honda Cub to ride around on instead.

bendavanza · 12-26-2007

Those shocks are bottom dollar cheapos
Sounds like you're on the way to a much happier bike. Nice story and I love the antichrist taillight part
cheers
-Ben

CAPTDON · 12-26-2007

And Santa brought you a can of "Never Dull' & to all a good nite!!

johntog · 12-27-2007

You've got an entertaining way with words, loved it.
But in the conditions you've got, damp salty atmosphere and a cold damp garage you need to ditch the flannel blanket, it's gonna hold the moisture.
I honestly don't think most modern motorcycle chrome will survive the conditions you describe without some help. First thing clean the rust areas with good quality chrome cleaner, autosol or similar and IMO you should only use chrome cleaners on chrome to remove rust, not as a general cleaner, they're too abrasive. Use it on unlacquered, polished ali or stainless but not chrome. Next wax all your chrome work well, this should have been a priority when you first got the bike and it's the best general cleaner and protection for your chrome including the exhaust and no, it won't discolour on the hot surfaces. Then get hold of some S100 or similar corrosion protectant and use as described on the tin on the shiny stuff but NOT on any surface thats gonna get hot. It does remain a bit tacky, but during the winter will hold back any rust and you can wash it off with any of those motorcycle spray cleaners when the warmer weather comes. Most of the chrome on our Bonnies is not great, wheels and shocks in particular, but like I said, it's a sign of the times.
Do all this and your wonderful bike will stay looking good for years, oh and don't forget to ride it as much as possible when their's no salt on the road.
enjoy your bike mate
all the best
John
PS:- DON'T get any S100 on your brake discs or rust will be the least of your problems

johnyC · 12-27-2007

Frank, calm doon.

My best mate, since we were boys at school with Tiger Cubs, is also called Frank. He has a Thruxton and a gs, both on sorn over the winter. He also has a Honda xr600 for riding out with me in the winter. It's a very useful bike with a big tank, he's been to Africa on it, but you'd never guess. Because he is so hung up on the weather, even checks the forecast before he goes out, as though he was going sailing rather than riding a motor bike. I keep telling him to just ride the bloody things. We'll a' be deid one day, so who needs a bike to last forever?

ps. remember 'The man in the white suit'? The 50s movie with Alec Guinness where he invents a suit from yarn that never blemishes nor wears out neither. Caused havoc:

FrankBlack · 12-27-2007

Thanks for your kind comments and feedback guys. (JohnyC - bein fae up there mah sell, akin definitely get waer yer cummin fae wae the 'wur awe gonnae die.....so yae bettur get oan yer bike big yin, n' stoap worryin aboot the 'kin rust'.)

Thanks for the excellent pointers Johntog. I ordered some of the S100 anti-corrosion and paste wax as per your advice. The flannel sheet seems to keep the condensation off (before I used it each morning the whole bike was wet with condensation), but I take your pointers on it holding moisture.

How do people rate Triumph's recommended Motorex 645 Protect & Shine for anti-corrosion protection? Or ACF-50? They both make the frame, rubber and engine paint look shiny black and waterproof but evaporate off the hot parts obviously. And are there any shock absorbers that weather better than the stocks?

I'm off for a pre-Hogmanay whisky-mac (it keeps the damp out and no rust spots yet JohnyC).

FrankBlack · 12-27-2007

PS JohnyC - I just watched your film clip. All my bikewear is made out of that Alec Guinness material. It's fabulous.

johnyC · 12-27-2007

....I was disappointed with Triumph's standard fitment. After a two-up holiday bouncing and bottoming-out round the Isle of Man, I bought a pair of Ikons. They're very good, but need a wipe and a spray now and again.

ps. just bought a pair of zrx1100 shocks to put on the Scrambler.