Triumphrat

neuroboy74 · 04-17-2008

the weekly alternative paper here in boston is called the weekly dig. it's an awesome, snarky little paper that i pick up for free every wednesday on the way to work. every week there's one letter to the editor that gets put first in a column called "oh cruel world". it tends to be a short story about someone mistrated or otherwise dehumanized by a nameless drunk troglodyte or uppity preppy-type (blabbing on the phone in a movie, knocking them over and not helping them up, y'know, basic human decency stuff)

[stay with me here, this does relate, i promise]

so. yesterday's column stung me and has stuck with me like none of these columns have yet and it goes a little something like this:

Quote:

To The Drunk Girls Who Knocked Over My Motorcycle,

Thanks you ever so dearly for sitting on my baby at approximately 12:50am last night while it was parked across from the Common Ground, losing whatever remaining balance was left within your highly inebriated, lame bodies and crashing it to the ground before irresponsibly and hastily stumbling off into the night to most likely down more tequila shots and perform various other sordid and doltish acts of subhuman, claptrap behavior.
A new bar end, foot peg, clutch cover, and stock pipe costs roughly $1000, and before your dimwitted, dodo-brained stupidity, my baby was in mint condition. Thank you for your cowardice, your lack of respect and your blatant disregard for anyone but your sad, sad selves.
If karma does not visit you for this, there is a special place in Hell, outlined in the final level of Dante's Inferno, where you will be chewed eternally by a fiendish and flagitious three-headed Satan.
Have a wonderful day.

Antny · 04-17-2008

I could seriously go off on a rant about this same subject, but that takes to much energy.

Pythas · 04-17-2008

Ya I know it.... my Guzzi got pushed over in my old neighborhood while I was eating pizza in a joint I've been going to all my life. Horrific feeling that some people could be so cruel.

imafunkyman · 04-17-2008

People who do such things will smoke turds in hell.

DrewDesign007 · 04-17-2008

My greatest fear... the drunken jock.

propforward · 04-17-2008

God help anyone I catch doing that s#!t, that's all.

Ringadingdoo · 04-17-2008

You want cruel - I seriously thought someone or some evil force was out to get me when I had two motorcycles in a row stolen from outside my workplace. The second bike was a replacement for the first stolen machine, I remember coming out after work and simple staring at the spot my bike had been 8 hrs previously, I simple didn't know what to say or do for about 10 mins!

The town I live in in known as a bit of a sleepy [old people retirement town] on the south coast of England, that year I think the motorcycle crime rate doubled!

davidc · 04-17-2008

An old lady backed into my '77 Tiger, knocking it over and bending bars, footpeg, broke clutch lever, and various scratches and dents. The bike paint was on her bumper and she said she had backed up but did not recall hitting anything. Man, I was livid but had no eye witnesses. It was at a bike shop too! Just sucked it up and fixed it all. Some people just suck.

sweatmachine · 04-17-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrewDesign007

My greatest fear... the drunken jock.

"NERDS. NERDS. NERDS. NERDS. NERDS. NERDS!!!!!"

Mancha · 04-17-2008

Hate to admit it, but I did that once back in college. I had driven my girlfriend's car and left it in gear, which she wasn't used to. So when she later started up the car, it jolted forward and knocked over her roommate's bike, a replicacer of the day. We jumped out, lifted it up, did a quick visual inspection in the dark and, deciding it was okay, drove off. The next morning we initially denied it when my girlfriend's roommate asked, but then fessed up when we discovered how much damage had actually been done to the fairing, mirrors, etc. I felt like dog dookie for quite a while.