Forum Name Change (The Sa-Tire Thread)

[Diego]

2008/10/25 - I think I'm going to re-stick this thread for a while, as the effect of the satire seems to have "worn off."

Due to popular demand, as soon as the tech staff can figure out how to do it, we will be changing the name of this forum to The Rocket Rear Tire Forum. Thereafter, all threads will be required to contain a minimum of 50% content about rear tire life, sizes, stickiness, tread patterns, wear bars, chicken strips, rolling smoky burnout techniques, automotive alternatives, and/or preferred brands.

Example: If you want opinions on third-party turn signals, you will need to phrase your question something like: "What type of signals would be most visible with the stock Metzeler, or should I switch to Avons if I go the LED route?"

Or: "Who sells a mirror that is both stylish and will provide the best possible view of my rear tyre so I can discern whether it's wearing prematurely whilst riding?"

Or: "I recently went over to the 'dark side.' Just this week, I developed starter problems. If I can't figure out to replace the starter motor right away, how often should I move the bike in the garage so my new Goodyear won't develop a flat spot while I'm waiting for advice?"

See? It's easy...shouldn't pose any difficulties for anyone at all. All threads from the past two weeks appear to meet the minimum tire content requirements already.

[Groover]

Hehehehe Hehehehe

[jrhorton]

applies to most other bike forums too....you've got my vote for President.

[Diego]

Originally Posted by jrhorton

applies to most other bike forums too....you've got my vote for President.

Much appreciated, but I fear the country could end up in a bigger mess than it already is.

Unfortunately, that's two posts in a row without explicit tire content, so to uphold our 50% requirement, I am now obliged to make some reference to tires. Ummm, let's see... OK, here we go:

You know how we all tell each other, "keep the shiny side up and the rubber side down." That's so very conventional. Why not think outside the box... what if we tried it the other way around? Well, I don't mean literally upside down. But what if we all made it a point to keep the rubber up in the air more?

Since the rear tires are the ones which experience the most rapid wear, they're the ones that need the most relief from contact with the road. Thus, it seems reasonable we should all begin doing as many stoppies as possible, ideally at every intersection. There are schools for learning to do wheelies, but can anyone recommend a good school that teaches stoppie technique?

[GPMAZ]

Originally Posted by Diego

There are schools for learning to do wheelies, but can anyone recommend a good school that teaches stoppie technique?

You do realize you're asking that in the Rocket forum.

Looking forward to your youtube videos of the stoppies on the R3....

[TallRocket]

Diego, seriously twisted post. Now before anyone gets hurt, put down the tire gage. Your tires are properly inflated you checked them yesterday. Leaving the light on in the garage will not keep your tires at operating pressure, just take it easy for the first couple of miles and all will be well.

With the focus of this well regulated forum correctly placed on tire maintenance and valve stem torque. I offer the following for consideration...

When backing up my Rocket, does my rear tire become my front tire?

When I counter steer while backing why do I end up upside down on the curb, should I stay in my crouch with my knees tucked?

Standing from behind the Rocket looking forward, if I can see my front tire does that mean my rear tire isn't wide enough?

When coasting above 20 mph I hear a knocking noise, is my back tire turning more revolutions than my front tire, I mean its wider so it must turn faster.

If I Armor All my dark side rear tire will it improve cornering performance or is axle grease still used to soften them sidewalls?

I read an article about using after market air in my factory rear tires, are you guys using factory air or should I risk it?

Given, Red Rockets are proven to be faster than all other Rockets because there tires are spun from rare Red Hot Island rubber. If I wear my red shooting glasses under my helmet visor will my graphite Rocket be faster and what color will Red traffic lights be?

[Diego]

Originally Posted by TallRocket

With the focus of this well regulated forum correctly placed on tire maintenance and valve stem torque. I offer the following for consideration...
{etc}

You've hit on a very important point there.

Why oh why does Triumph not tell us important details like the correct torque for our valve stems! I've looked in the owners manual. I've looked in the shop manual. I've looked in pirated manuals on eBay, which are mostly older editions that haven't been "error-corrected" yet, so you know they've got to be good. Total silence. Why is everyone so secretive on the subject! How come they won't tell us what John Bloor spends on breakfast cereal each year! Is it a huge conspiracy!

I even went to two dealers, just for the purpose of this joke, and not a single one of them had a clue about the correct torque, either. They claim Triumph just laughs when they call to ask about it. Yeah, likely story.

Could the dealers be in on it too! Why don't they want us to know the truth! What are they all hiding! What's the connection to Area 51 and Roswell!

[Diego]

I'm not enough of an expert to answer all your questions, TallRocket, but I'll try to tackle one or two.

Originally Posted by TallRocket

When backing up my Rocket, does my rear tire become my front tire?

I've been told that if you are seated in the saddle facing the tail light at the time, yes. But I've also been told that if you go to the license office that way for your riding test, they'll take off points.

When I counter steer while backing why do I end up upside down on the curb, should I stay in my crouch with my knees tucked?

I tried that a couple of times on my first Bonneville back in the Seventies, but with the same result as you. I was advised that I needed to master antidisestablishmentarian negative undercountersteering, but I don't seem to be that coordinated. (To pronounce it, I mean, let alone actually do it.) I always ended up on the ground, twisted into a shape something like a Klein bottle.

If only I could find a good stoppie school for the Rocket, maybe they would also teach that technique.

[Diego]

Standing from behind the Rocket looking forward, if I can see my front tire does that mean my rear tire isn't wide enough?

Absolutely. Most Rocket captains agree, if you can see anything of the bike from that position, the rear tire isn't big enough.

If I Armor All my dark side rear tire will it improve cornering performance or is axle grease still used to soften them sidewalls?

Diesel fuel is even more effective than Armor All, and quicker to apply than axle grease. But in a pinch you could also use the ever popular WD-40 as a temporary fix.

Given, Red Rockets are proven to be faster than all other Rockets because there tires are spun from rare Red Hot Island rubber. If I wear my red shooting glasses under my helmet visor will my graphite Rocket be faster and what color will Red traffic lights be?

It will look faster to you, which is what's important, so I guess that means it's all relative.

Logically, then, we must apply the Theory of Relativity to the traffic light question. As you approach something at a high enough speed, the wavelength of the light grows shorter, shifting red light sources toward the other end of the spectrum. As you go faster and faster, the red light will first appear yellow, and then green. This is why speed kills! It fools people into thinking red lights are actually green, so they go on through intersections when they don't have the right of way.

Of course, if you go fast enough, the wavelength becomes even shorter and you get into the blue end of the spectrum. This is a well proven part of the Theory of Relativity. Many speeders eventually see blue lights if they go fast enough.

[RocketandRollit]

This thread makes my head hurt!