Triumphrat

ruscook

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.


As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'.. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

Will it happen?

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.


Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

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Old Scratcher

Well done! I think you've just breached the AUP in more ways than was thought possible.
But it was veri funi
Any truth to it?

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"They told me I was goin to have to work for my living, & all I wanna do is ride. I don't care where we're goin from here. So Honey you decide" Jackson Browne (the Road & The Sky)

walt

Wel? Wil we?

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Walt, the guy on the Silver Thunderbird

bovefrankj

You may laugh but that would pass for accurate spelling for some kids.

Bring back the birch

Stagger Lee

As old as the hills that joke, but still a goodie

ruscook

Gotta, admit it might be the ONLY way to standardise english in england, let alone the rest of the world LOL

No truth to it that I know of, but hey fact is nearly always stranger then fiction

Russ

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StreetT675

No we are all going over to text language in Europe

c u l8tr

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David.

stanegoli

Not sure why they would go to all that trouble when they could simply adopt the existing simplified version of English - it is called American English.

Baltobonneville

The spelling is so irregular. I feel bad for anyone who has to learn it as a second language. It's a mess.

It was my second language too, but I started with it in first grade in the US.

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Marty
2005 Bonneville Blue 790cc, AI removed, Staintunes RC, Unifilter, no snorkel, 118/40/Thrux needle/1 shim/3 turns, tachometer, Ikon 7610s in back, Ricor Intiminators in front, Pirelli Sport Demons, D9 gauge panel.

danf_florida

In the colonies, what started out as english is now american. In the future, what is now american will become mexican. (It started already with the bilingual signs all over the place)

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2005 TBA, AI removed, debaffled pipes, added tach, leather saddle bags, backrest, and luggage rack, K&N Air Filter.