Triumphrat

Whisperinsmith

I just finished "How to be Good", by Nick Hornby. I picked it up after I finished his, "A Long Way Down", which was recommended by bonniegirl. (Great book. Thanks again, bonniegirl.)

To the point. After reading "How to be Good" and then reading a quote somewhere that said we are defined by where we spend our money, I was compelled to think about where I spend mine and if, in fact, that defines me.

Then I thought more about it and realized that where I spend my money is just one of hundreds of actions that define me. But it is telling. And as I thought about it, it was just one more nail in the guilt coffin. Do I spend my fair share for charity? Do I spend my money in some ways that will benefit mankind? (Where do I spend my time, which I feel is more giving.)

I realized that recently I'm forced to spend on family. Elderly mother and other issues. But I also spend a stupid amount on motorcycle related things. And when I do, I don't have a thought of helping third world kids, or contributing to "Doctor's Without Borders" or any other humanitarian group. I want my new Triumph Sympatex jacket and that's that.

Sure, I had the obligatory amount taken out of my weekly paycheck for charity. But lately, I've become incredibly selfish. I've always strived to be honest; with others and with myself. It's harder to be honest with myself. And I've fooled myself into thinking if I'm honest with both others and myself, I'm on my way to "How to be Good".

But honesty about negatives isn't being good. It's just admiting. Maybe that's my first step.

So, what defines you and are you happy with yourself?

__________________
Life. Fill 'er up. It's all we got.

http://www.armchaircommando.org/benn...Bash/Home.html
Bennington, VT May 31, June 01 2008

MVP44

Whisper,
It is way to early on Monday morning for this type of deep thinking.

I believe it is very true that if you look in your checkbook - your priorities will be laid bare before you. I don't like to look at mine much because it reminds me that in the big scheme of things I am often quite shallow in this respect especially when in comes to two wheel expenditures.

Strange coincidence this topic. My club try and go into Baltimore at least once a month to provide some type of meal for people living on the street who cannot get into one of the local shelters. We drove down last Thursday around 8:30pm with some coffee and bagels. Met probably about 50 people give or take at our usual spot - some new some very familiar.

We always get a great reception and get some great conversations. Stories as varied as the people.

Sitting in my garage taking off my gear strange thought hit me. Why by really just accident of birth (in many circumstances not all) am I able to sit here in my nice warm garage while so many have to huddle in canvas make shift tents trying to survive the nights cold. Not to mention the fact that I just got off a nice motorbike with equally nice heated clothing - in walks waves of guilt.

Brought to mind an exercise done many many moons ago when Stephen Covey was the latest hot topic. If you were to listen to your own eulogy what would people say about you.

Think most people would say how much I loved my kids and wife and how much time I spent with them. Next thought would be how much I loved my bikes. Don't know if this is the #2 thing I want to be remembered for. Ideally would like to be remembered for trying to comfort at least some those who by choice or accident have been marginalized by society.

Which comes full circle and back on topic. Do I put my money where my mouth is................. in retrospect not nearly enough by a long shot.

OK now need caffeine burst -

bruce19

Other people define me based on their little dream of their life. So, since everyone's dream of their life is somewhat different, the only definition of me that matters is my own. And, I choose not to define myself. Just happy to be here and experiencing it all.

Old Scratcher

I don't feel guilty about my money, or how I spend it.
I worked hard to make it, & I'll spend it as I see fit.
But then I don't give to charity out of guilt either.
I do it beacuse I can see a worthwhile cause that needs supporting.
& I let guilt have as much influence on my life, as I allow fear to.

__________________
"They told me I was goin to have to work for my living, & all I wanna do is ride. I don't care where we're goin from here. So Honey you decide" Jackson Browne (the Road & The Sky)

Skyblue62

Well I work for a 'charity' which is mainly funded by the government, hopefully giving some of our disadvantaged kids a break in life.

I spend at the cheapest supermarkets and clothes stores, because that's all I can afford

I never feel guilty about buying something made in a third world country sweat shop, because if I didn't buy it, they'd have even less

I buy goods made in this country because I want to be loyal

I occasionally give to charity, but only if I know the money isn't wasted in administration costs

Am I happy with myself? - yes I am, no guilt whatsoever, just - gratefulness

__________________
Ian

iceman

..... holy cow - you've done it again Whisperin' - got us thinking

I also occaisionally wonder whether at the end of it all I will look back and be disappointed that I didnt do more (or less) of this or that.
Your 'charity' can range from donating your whole life to others (Mother Teresa) to dropping a coin in the annual Cancer Society collector's tin.
I attended a funeral in the weekend for my cousin who died of cancer at age 44 and met a woman there who is 38 and has an 8 year old son - she is also dying of cancer!
That was a huge wake up for me - you cant dwell too much on what you might or might not do - life is too short and you need to get on with it.
Family is my number one priority but we also have some charities like Womens Refuge and Hospice which operate in our community which we support.
We could always do more but then thats life

Grant

__________________
http://www.triumphrat.net/photogalle...790/album1051/

bruce19

From time to time I review some of the things I've actually done in my life. Personally that interests me more than where I spend my money. Of course that is important but I find how I've spent the time and energy in my life to be more instructive. And, as I recall what I've done it gives me a clue to what has been important to me. I think that's a good way to learn about myself. Hopefully it helps to make more informed decisions in the future.

decobike

I find that what defines me tends to be kind of fluid. Today my priorties might be different than yesterday or tomorrow. I too think back and regret that I might have handled some things differently-better. I also have some guilt over charitable giving, I don't not give either but, is it enough? I could do more.

Whisper I just noticed your PM, I'm a little dense sometimes. Appreciated, thanks.

__________________

HiDesert

Whisper, I, for one, never intend to stop telling you to burn that guilt coffin. If you, personally, want to become a better member of society, that's probably the first task to accomplish.

As for what defines me, I agree with Dumbledore; it's our decisions that make us who we are. Think of the parable of the talents (a form of currency); one person hid his talent, while the other two made the talents they were given grow. They all had an opportunity, but one chose to react in fear. Despite my choice of parables, I feel that financial decisions are part of what defines us, but no more telling than how we spend our time or other indicators. On that note, I'd like a word with whoever it was that linked to the Desktop Tower Defense game.

How we react when confronted with conflicting motivations, ethical dilemmas, or challenges define us also. What accomplishments we value and what standards we apply to ourselves is also very indicative. Anyone could write pages about this (and something tells me we will! ).

Are you asking in terms of 'what made you who you are,' or 'how do you decide if you are a good person,' or 'what issues in your life are most important to you,' or 'what brief description would tell people the most about you,' just to give a few possible interpretations.

And that's not even starting on the 'are you happy with yourself' question.

Good thread, Whisper.

__________________
I won't stop riding because you tell me about someone who died in an accident, just as I won't stop eating because someone died of e.coli.

HiDesert's ride photos

richb

Hidesert wrote:

"On that note, I'd like a word with whoever it was that linked to the Desktop Tower Defense game."

Yeah, seconded on that one. Never got beyond mid 60's in challenge 100 mode. Really bugging me... oops sorry thread-hijack alarm...

I'm afraid I think charity begins at home. I've been broke (was once mortified to have to wear shoes bought from a charity shop to school - no-one noticed, but I knew) and I don't want my kids to go through that.
Because income is not a known quantity as yet (because I don't how long it's going to take me to get published), my charitable giving is negligible and I'm quite comfortable with that.

On the other hand when I did have disposable income I wasn't that great at putting the hand in the pocket; I was always stashing cash away for a rainy day, and then the rainy day arrived and now I'm quite grateful... So maybe I'm just a tightwad with a gift for excuses, I don't know. I don't lose sleep about it.

Plenty of other reasons to lose sleep, but that's another thread.

__________________
Knowing is no substitute for thinking.