Triumphrat

tba-golfer · 10-09-2007

http://www.whysanity.net/monos/fewgood.html

I am finding, in my dotage, that many folks, maybe those especially close to me, can't handle the truth, or at least the truth as I find it to be and decribe it to them.

For instance, my friend Murray, who I have known for over 40 years, played 100's and 100's of rounds of golf with, had thousands of beers with, watched each other raise families...he refuses to acknowledge that I own, ride, grow, and thrill in my Triumph experience. He literally will walk out of the room if I start talking about my bike, or even this forum. It is more than an inconvenient truth for him. I realize the well wishing care/dread he has for me, but am disencumbered by his inability to accept this truth, this new experience of mine.

Similarly, I am wonderfully close to saying hasta la vista to my 30 year career as a stock broker. (There will be a full celebration with Famous Grouse on me, as of Nov.1) A compatriot in the financial trenches with me is absolutely aghast that I am willing, or maybe able, to walk away... handing my clients over to others, and foresaking the life style of suits and ties. I have endeavored to explain to him that the job was just that for me- albeit well paid, with perks and time to indulge in golf, etc.; but that it was never suited to my personality and that for a number of years had just been pure Hades. He can't accept my reasoning. He pleads with me to join him at his new firm and give it another shot. He has a young, second family, a big mortgage. I have no obligations, a Triumph and shiny golf clubs. Hmmm...

Truth is all relative, I know.

Be true to yourself, and accept that others, especially those who may be close, can have a hard time accepting your version of the truth.

Sermon endeth...

BadMouth · 10-09-2007

An inspiration!

So what's next? (I'm looking for ideas

)

HiDesert · 10-09-2007

Good post, TBA. Wish I were going to be there for your 1 Nov party!

I wonder how many of the world's problems could be solved by clearer communication? I can't count the number of times I've watched people argue in a meeting, when they really, actually agreed but couldn't tell because one of them misheard something earlier in the meeting.

The problem is we all hear through the filter of our experiences, preconceptions, pride, or lack of sleep. I never know what you are saying, but I can make my best guess at what I think you are saying. And the differences are often too small to be noticed individually.

No one is an island, but when it comes to communication, the best we ever really achieve is smoke signals from one side of the peninsula to the other. Or shadow puppets on the wall of the cave, if the really old dead Greeks are right.

tba-golfer · 10-09-2007

Clear communication seems to be the problem!
Honest, frank, "I bought a Triumph and took the MSF class and am having a great new experience..." is too much!
So is, "I'm burned out, would rather bag groceries than deal with nit picking clients..." is too much!

That's my point! People can't accept or handle the truth (or at least what is presented to them as the truth.)

MA0458 · 10-09-2007

Scot! Congrats! What are you planning to do next?

tba-golfer · 10-09-2007

"Paper or Plastic?"

Maybe.

I don't know. If I was serious about a career, I would consult to corporations, educating employees about the importance of 401K investing, how markets operate, mutual fund types, etc.,...

But where's the fun in that?

Initially, I plan to just f**t around trading (successfully, hopefully) in my own account.

Maybe a trip to NZ?

I know I can get a gig as a caddie in the highlands of Scotland.

Scary, fun, different, weird, and especially, changing...

That is life.

What is, is.

miker · 10-10-2007

Scott, your post is all too true.

In my opinion, it's like this..... Most people want people to be like them, as it justifies their existence and their lifestyle decisions. What your freind Murray has heard is "You're a stupid person for not wanting to ride a motorcycle" Even if you never said anything like that, that is what he heard. He wants you to be like him, not different.

Similarly, your stock broker freind. "I think your mad for wanting to stay in the business, that's why I'm getting out." You know why your're getting out, and he probably would get out if he didn't have a big mortgage and family. But, because he's had to stay in, he must justify it to himself by telling you that you're crazy..... He wants you to be like him, not different.

Mick

Catenaccio · 10-10-2007

Scott,

Your post is either inspired, prophetic, or clairvoyant. I had a major falling out with a good friend and coworker today because of feedback he received from someone else.

He started the complaint process without coming to me and went instead to our boss, who defended my position and questioned why the issue ever came up in the first place. When they showed up at my office, my friend went ballistic and started yelling and screaming his frustrations at me. My boss intervened and told him to adjust. Of course, I took my shots which only deepened the schism.

I don't know if the relationship will heal. I'm willing to try but not without saving face, which probably means eating crow for something I never said and never did.

On the lighter side, enjoy your retirement! Have a great celebration then light up your bike and roar off into the sunset or sunrise, whichever!

Tbirdnz · 10-10-2007

I think TBA's nailed it when he said 'Be true to yourself', if there comes a time when you don't have to fight for every crust that's handed to you and you realise there is more in life than what you're doing then change it.

When you have responsibilities like kids you don't have much choice, but when you have you should live your life what makes you happy and satisfied.

Good on you Scott, go for whatever you want to do, those who make the effort succeed.

---------------
Ride on !

bovefrankj · 10-10-2007

Well done TBA. Please yourself from now on instead of striving to please others. It is possible and it isn't selfish. Enjoy.

Frank.