Joke Posting Page - Page 124 - Triumph Forum: Triumph Rat Motorcycle Forums
» Main Menu

Discussion Forums
 » Twins
 » Tiger
 » General
 » RAT

Features
 » Blogs

Motorcycle.com Links

Contribute
 » Photo

Motorcycle Forums
» Insurance
» Sponsors
» Our Partners
»ATV Reviews
»Motorcycle Games

Biker Hang-Out The Biker Cafe' at the end of the Universe. C'mon in, we talk everything about motorcycles on Earth and beyond.


Sponsored by: Motorcycle Accessory Discount Superstore

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-12-2012, 07:00 PM   #1231 (permalink)
Senior Member
Moto Grand Prix
Main Motorcycle: 05 Honda VFR Interceptor
 
UnklFungus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Moorpark, Ca
Posts: 2,762
Extra Motorcycle: 1980 Yamaha IT125
The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right

thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have

beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.



The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn,

screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get

through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.



As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window

and looked up into the face oa a very serious police officer.

The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.



He took her to the police station where she was searched,

fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.



After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and

opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk

where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.



He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up

behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off

the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I

noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose

Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School'

bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem

on the trunk, so naturally..... I assumed you had stolen the car."
__________________
Videat veritatem
See the truth


UnklFungus is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 12-15-2012, 09:11 AM   #1232 (permalink)
Banned
SuperBike
Main Motorcycle: 1965 650 T120R
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Jackson California
Posts: 1,522
Office fun

Darren wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office. But she was dating someone else. One day Darren got so frustrated that he went to her and said I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you. The girl looked at him and then said, "NO!"

Darren said, "I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up." She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend.

So she called him and explained the situation. Her boy friend says, "Ask him for $200 and pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down. Then give me a call."

She agreed and accepts the proposal.

Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call.

Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks, "What happened?"

Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, "The bastard had all quarters!"

Management lesson:

Always consider a business proposition in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed.

Chuck95642 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-17-2012, 05:16 PM   #1233 (permalink)
Senior Member
Moto Grand Prix
Main Motorcycle: 05 Honda VFR Interceptor
 
UnklFungus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Moorpark, Ca
Posts: 2,762
Extra Motorcycle: 1980 Yamaha IT125
An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.
Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish.
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.
He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the local police station.

The conversation went like this:

"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's
Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye
be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the
foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father,
replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took
care of the last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.......

Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye,'tis certainly true; but we are also
obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call."
__________________
Videat veritatem
See the truth


UnklFungus is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-18-2012, 09:38 AM   #1234 (permalink)
Senior Member
Formula Extreme
Main Motorcycle: '08 Bonneville efi
 
Nodster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: North Co. Dublin, Ireland
Posts: 575
A guy was driving down a motorway in England with his blonde girlfriend and she piped up, "I think those people in the car next to us are from Wales". "Why do you think that?" he said. "Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says "stit ruoy su wohs"
__________________
The older I get, the faster I was
Nodster is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-19-2012, 04:41 AM   #1235 (permalink)
Senior Member
SuperStock
Main Motorcycle: Speed Triple (2011)
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Hull, UK
Posts: 250
The first sign of madness is talking to condiments - according to my sauces
__________________
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana"
brumfitt is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-19-2012, 05:58 PM   #1236 (permalink)
Banned
Commentator
Main Motorcycle: 71 Bonnie
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Only 2 states to be in... Victoria and pissed.
Posts: 8,958
Other Motorcycle: 2012 T100
Extra Motorcycle: You can have more than 2?
Ate some mushrooms this morning.
Breakfast of champignons.



And abstinence make the church grow fondlers.
dogtired is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-19-2012, 06:04 PM   #1237 (permalink)
Lifetime Premium
Site Supporter
Team Owner
Main Motorcycle: 2006 Thruxton
 
jonkster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 5,198
Other Motorcycle: 1971 T120
Extra Motorcycle: Ossa 6 day replica
The book case fell on my head today and made a big gash.

It was shelf inflicted injury.
__________________
stumble trip stumble trip
jonkster is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2012, 02:27 AM   #1238 (permalink)
Banned
Commentator
Main Motorcycle: 71 Bonnie
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Only 2 states to be in... Victoria and pissed.
Posts: 8,958
Other Motorcycle: 2012 T100
Extra Motorcycle: You can have more than 2?
*groan*
dogtired is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2012, 02:51 AM   #1239 (permalink)
Senior Member
Moto Grand Prix
Main Motorcycle: 05 Honda VFR Interceptor
 
UnklFungus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Moorpark, Ca
Posts: 2,762
Extra Motorcycle: 1980 Yamaha IT125
huhuhhuhuhuhhuhuhh...


He said gash!
__________________
Videat veritatem
See the truth


UnklFungus is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-20-2012, 04:16 AM   #1240 (permalink)
Senior Member
SuperStock
Main Motorcycle: Speed Triple (2011)
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Hull, UK
Posts: 250
What is blue and ****s old ladies?

Me, in my lucky blue anorak
__________________
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana"
brumfitt is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Triumph Forum: Triumph Rat Motorcycle Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter your valid email address, that can receive an automated confirmation message. Otherwise, you won't be able to gain full access.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
All right ..I can take a joke but??? bonnietiler The Rocket Science Forum 6 03-30-2007 11:17 PM
motorbike joke cully RAT - United Kingdom 5 01-18-2007 01:38 PM
motorbike joke cully Hinckley Classic Triples 4 01-08-2007 10:33 PM
New Year's joke. richb Biker Hang-Out 5 01-02-2007 09:30 PM
Sexist joke bronco50 The Rocket Science Forum 11 12-16-2005 09:43 AM

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:58 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Motorcycle News, Videos and Reviews
Honda Grom Forum Harley Davidson Forum Honda 600RR Forum Kawasaki Forum Yamaha R6 Forum Yamaha FZ-09 Forum
1199 Panigale Forum Roadglide Forum Honda CBR1000 Forum Vulcan Forum Yamaha R1 Forum Yamaha R3 Forum
Ducati Monster Forum Harley Forums Honda CBR250R Forum ZX10R Forum Star Raider Forum Yamaha Viking Forum
Suzuki GSXR Forum V-Rod Forums Honda Shadow Forum Kawasaki Motorcycle Forum Star Warrior Forum KTM Duke 390 Forum
SV650 Forum BMW S1000RR Forum Honda Fury Forum Kawasaki Versys Forum Drag Racing Forum Ducati 899 Panigale Forum
Suzuki V-Strom BMW K1600 Triumph Forum Victory Forums Sportbikes BMW NineT Forum
Volusia Forum BMW F800 Forum Triumph 675 Forum MV Agusta Forum HD Street Forum Suzuki GW250 Forum
Yamaha Motorcycles Victory Gunner Forum Honda Vultus Forum HD LiveWire Forum Ninja H2 Forum Ducati Scrambler Forum Kawasaki Ninja 250SL Forum

Garage Plus vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.