Joke Posting Page - Page 120 - Triumph Forum: Triumph Rat Motorcycle Forums
Biker Hang-Out The Biker Cafe' at the end of the Universe. C'mon in, we talk everything about motorcycles on Earth and beyond.


Sponsored by: Motorcycle Accessory Discount Superstore

 43Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1191 of 1717 (permalink) Old 11-19-2012, 10:11 PM
Lifetime Premium
Site Supporter
SOTP Vintage Series
Main Motorcycle: Tiger Explorer 1200 XC
 
welshrob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Gold Coast, Australia
Posts: 7,319
Other Motorcycle: Moto Guzzi V7 Classic
21 Economic Models ... explained with cows


SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the
milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters
of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to
a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who
sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The
annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States ,
leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the
release. The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow
cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

She said, "You can`t take ANYTHING seriously, can you?" I just laughed.
welshrob is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #1192 of 1717 (permalink) Old 11-20-2012, 04:52 AM
Senior Member
Legend
Main Motorcycle: KTM Duke 690
 
Boldor's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Newcastle, Australia
Posts: 11,172
Other Motorcycle: '95 Speedie & '82 CB750
Extra Motorcycle: RGV250 Trackie
That's the best joke(s) I have read for a while.

"By looking at the difference between perceived danger and actual danger, you can fundamentally change your reaction." Chris Hadfield.
Boldor is offline  
post #1193 of 1717 (permalink) Old 11-21-2012, 06:08 PM
Senior Member
Site Supporter
Pole Position
Main Motorcycle: 2010 Bonnie Black MAG
 
BrewDudeBob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Johns Creek Georgia
Posts: 3,493
Other Motorcycle: Dreaming of an Explorer
Extra Motorcycle: Dreaming of a KTM
My girlfriend HATES No Shave November.

Everyone always makes fun of how patchy her beard is.

ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

BrewDudeBob is online now  
post #1194 of 1717 (permalink) Old 11-21-2012, 06:12 PM
Banned
SuperBike
Main Motorcycle: 1965 650 T120R
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Jackson California
Posts: 1,522
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrewDudeBob View Post
My girlfriend HATES No Shave November.

Everyone always makes fun of how patchy her beard is.

rolmfao.
Chuck95642 is offline  
post #1195 of 1717 (permalink) Old 11-21-2012, 06:36 PM
Senior Member
Legend
Main Motorcycle: KTM Duke 690
 
Boldor's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Newcastle, Australia
Posts: 11,172
Other Motorcycle: '95 Speedie & '82 CB750
Extra Motorcycle: RGV250 Trackie
That says just as much about you BDB.

"By looking at the difference between perceived danger and actual danger, you can fundamentally change your reaction." Chris Hadfield.
Boldor is offline  
post #1196 of 1717 (permalink) Old 11-21-2012, 07:14 PM
Senior Member
Site Supporter
Pole Position
Main Motorcycle: 2010 Bonnie Black MAG
 
BrewDudeBob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Johns Creek Georgia
Posts: 3,493
Other Motorcycle: Dreaming of an Explorer
Extra Motorcycle: Dreaming of a KTM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boldor View Post
That says just as much about you BDB.
What....?


ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

BrewDudeBob is online now  
post #1197 of 1717 (permalink) Old 11-21-2012, 08:41 PM
Senior Member
Legend
Main Motorcycle: KTM Duke 690
 
Boldor's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Newcastle, Australia
Posts: 11,172
Other Motorcycle: '95 Speedie & '82 CB750
Extra Motorcycle: RGV250 Trackie
That you're willing to put up with chics who can't grow a proper beard. You are obviously not as shallow as the ordinary bloke.

I have heard about your legendary beard.

"By looking at the difference between perceived danger and actual danger, you can fundamentally change your reaction." Chris Hadfield.
Boldor is offline  
post #1198 of 1717 (permalink) Old 11-22-2012, 05:33 PM
Senior Member
Formula Extreme
Main Motorcycle: '08 Bonneville efi
 
Nodster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: North Co. Dublin, Ireland
Posts: 610
Paddy says to Murphy..Have u seen the news? 3 Cliff Walkers have fallen to their deaths....Unbelievable said Murphy, I can't believe they all had the same name

The older I get, the faster I was
Nodster is offline  
post #1199 of 1717 (permalink) Old 11-24-2012, 03:11 AM
Lifetime Premium
Site Supporter
SOTP Vintage Series
Main Motorcycle: Tiger Explorer 1200 XC
 
welshrob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Gold Coast, Australia
Posts: 7,319
Other Motorcycle: Moto Guzzi V7 Classic
Americans; Iran and Iraq are not Apple products, please pronounce them properly.

She said, "You can`t take ANYTHING seriously, can you?" I just laughed.
welshrob is offline  
post #1200 of 1717 (permalink) Old 11-24-2012, 08:55 AM
Senior Member
Site Supporter
Pole Position
Main Motorcycle: 2010 Bonnie Black MAG
 
BrewDudeBob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Johns Creek Georgia
Posts: 3,493
Other Motorcycle: Dreaming of an Explorer
Extra Motorcycle: Dreaming of a KTM
Quote:
Originally Posted by welshrob View Post
Americans; Iran and Iraq are not Apple products, please pronounce them properly.
No.


Sent from my iPhone using Motorcycle.com App

ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

BrewDudeBob is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options
All posts must adhere to Forum Rules

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Triumph Forum: Triumph Rat Motorcycle Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter your valid email address, that can receive an automated confirmation message. Otherwise, you won't be able to gain full access.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
All right ..I can take a joke but??? bonnietiler The Rocket Science Forum 6 03-30-2007 10:17 PM
motorbike joke cully RAT - United Kingdom 5 01-18-2007 12:38 PM
motorbike joke cully Hinckley Classic Triples 4 01-08-2007 09:33 PM
New Year's joke. richb Biker Hang-Out 5 01-02-2007 08:30 PM
Sexist joke bronco50 The Rocket Science Forum 11 12-16-2005 08:43 AM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome