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Old 11-19-2012, 10:11 PM   #1191 (permalink)
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21 Economic Models ... explained with cows


SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the
milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters
of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to
a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who
sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The
annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States ,
leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the
release. The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow
cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
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Old 11-20-2012, 04:52 AM   #1192 (permalink)
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That's the best joke(s) I have read for a while.
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Old 11-21-2012, 06:08 PM   #1193 (permalink)
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My girlfriend HATES No Shave November.

Everyone always makes fun of how patchy her beard is.
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Old 11-21-2012, 06:12 PM   #1194 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrewDudeBob View Post
My girlfriend HATES No Shave November.

Everyone always makes fun of how patchy her beard is.

rolmfao.
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Old 11-21-2012, 06:36 PM   #1195 (permalink)
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That says just as much about you BDB.
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:14 PM   #1196 (permalink)
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That says just as much about you BDB.
What....?

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Old 11-21-2012, 08:41 PM   #1197 (permalink)
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That you're willing to put up with chics who can't grow a proper beard. You are obviously not as shallow as the ordinary bloke.

I have heard about your legendary beard.
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Old 11-22-2012, 05:33 PM   #1198 (permalink)
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Paddy says to Murphy..Have u seen the news? 3 Cliff Walkers have fallen to their deaths....Unbelievable said Murphy, I can't believe they all had the same name
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Old 11-24-2012, 03:11 AM   #1199 (permalink)
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Americans; Iran and Iraq are not Apple products, please pronounce them properly.
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Old 11-24-2012, 08:55 AM   #1200 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Americans; Iran and Iraq are not Apple products, please pronounce them properly.
No.


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