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My driver license (which unlike Big Ben's, actually has a motorcycle endorsement) sez I'm 42, but my girlfriend says I'm older than most rocks. Older than some sand, even. But she's 29, which is probably older than Cheap's mama, but too young for me some say, so what does she know. Still, I ain't havin' a midlife crisis - I just never grew up.
But I can remember when telephones had li'l round things ya put yer fingers in, and they all had a cord runnin' inta the wall. An' we had to walk to school... 20 miles... in the rain... uphill... even when it snowed... and we had to dodge pterodactyls to get there.
Not like these young punks today with their yeller motorbikes that only work when one wheel's innee air.
Funny thing about that motorcycle endorsement. I'd been ridin' for 10 years when a cop pulls me over an' sez "You ain't got no motorcycle license." I tell him I've been ridin' for years. He sez they changed the law a coupla years back. I sez well, nobody bothered to tell me 'bout that. He was cool, though - said I couldn't ride home if he was around to see it, so I oughta wait five minutes until he's good and gone, and then call a friend to come git me. I had to go through the whole learner's permit an' everythin'. I finally took the ridin' test an' they sez they never seen anybody so quick on the brakes. I sez well, I been ridin' fer a long time - I da*m well better know how to use 'em in this college town or I'da been dead a few times over.
Now what say we load up on some geritol an' go raise some hell.
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"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
— HST
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