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Thanks for the responses. I have many people in my life who can't understand why I'd want to live in New York City, but having grown up in a small town in New Mexico, I'm not sure I want that life again. I've come to make NYC my home and for all its faults, I do love it here. Thus, moving is out of the question..
However.... I do like the idea of Furbags' idea of putting 2000 volts onto the handlebar levers.. Unfortunately I'm not an electrical engineer of any sort. I know a guitar tech who wires up all sorts of stuff though.. I might try to get him involved.. Knowing my luck I'd shock some jackass who already had the stand up and the bike would fall anyway. Probably a lawsuit in the making..
In the meantime, I'll stick with locking the thing up to a signpost on the sidewalk and take my chances with the ticket.
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